Saturday, January 21, 2006

Nagan's Chocolate Space Station

"We will repopulate these quartes in chocolate" were the words being spread by Trooper 3548 in the Tie-Trooper class, who has claimed himself as the new 'mayor' of the selected group in Booty's stead. He has been labeled as what is referred to as "A Nagan" in our selective party, which is representative of nothing more than a living pile of Bantha scrodum and fecal matter. This 'Nagan' continued his rant against the Empire claiming that he, in fact, had always been suspect to the government's occupation of his people's lands and the recent flooding of their shared quarters was a racist attempt to exterminate them as a whole. "We will rebuild this wing of the space station, and it will become a chocolate wing mixed with a little vanilla to become a delicious drink. The vanilla I speak of will be white chocolate actually, and not the 'traditional' vanilla we all know and despise. In fact we be talkin' un-knowledgable things up in here, and you brothers know what I mean. I call upon you to castigate and proprietate the vanilla faction oppressipatin'and hatin' upon this culture, because we want only true, dark chocolate in our delicious beverage."

What a stupid fu#*ing Nagan.

Friday, January 20, 2006

comin' clean

Apparently the spiritual journey embarked upon earlier by both myself and Spencer has come to be the rant of the association, with little to no regard whatsoever for either my command or my feelings. I see now that coming back to work so soon did little to step up progress and, in fact, only served to open up the door for Vader’s breaching of my mind’s inner most thoughts at his leisure. It had not occurred to me until a recent council, consisting of some of my highest officers, that Vader had been quietly probing my mind during the conduction of my meeting. His muffled snickering had done nothing but agitate me due to what I concluded as mere rudeness, but his abrupt collapse in laughter after only a brief pause and then pompously referencing, “Spencer?!,” over and over made me sick to my stomach…

Needless to say, word has spread rapidly about the details of my leisure with Spencer thanks to Vader, himself, and I forsee mandatory sensitivity training in the future of my soldiers. All except for my Tie Troopers, because I honestly feel that they are too freakin' stupid to understand the real world. In fact, most of them are now claiming to have slight learning disabilities so they can attemt to qualify for more government support... As if I had enough problems to deal with.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Broke-Back Rehab

It’s hard to explain, in detail, the full spectrum of emotions one faces when forced to confront the innermost demons that threaten a man’s sanity, hastening him to conceal the pain by means of a turbulent vice. A laps of some time has overcome me, in that I realize over two months have passed since my last entry pertaining to this work in progress known as the Death Star. But time, I assure, has not only allowed me to regroup and re-organize myself into the Moff I was destined to be, but also expounding upon the troubled man fighting to get out.
Anxiety finally overcame me, as did a certain measure of fear, as I had come to realize the enormous task presented to me, compounded with the responsibility of governing a fleet of sizable proportions and the want of completing the work ahead of me on such a drastic schedule. My wife had left me…and, so far as I could see, the machine was beginning to tear itself apart, with regards to the continual problems amounted by indigent sects of storm troopers. My anger,.. my loathing for these soldiers,.. my terrible state of paranoia outweighed my reasoning. I found solace in the bottle. So much so that it clouded all reality for me and forced me into a suicidal state that nearly overtook me. I had nothig. I was nothing. I succumbed to my own solitude, regressing to my quarters unfit to be seen, laying for days naked among my bodily waste as my hygiene continued to deteriorate.
I was spared, however, and rushed to a rehab center designed especially for ranking officers within the Empire. It was here that I was destined to spend the next eight weeks purging my body of the poisonous toxins that had shortly maintained a grip on my soul, and coming to terms within myself allowing me to begin restructuring this broken man back into the leader he needed to be.
For all the tragedy endured in my process and the physical withdrawals that plagued my recovery, if it had not been for the emotional support I received from Spencer I would never have made it. Having grown apart so many years ago as time and careers tend to separate even the best of friends, Spencer and I had trained together as new cadets in the army of the republic before the emergence of the empire. We shared a bond, though it was a bond of brothers, and one we had hoped would never be broken. Towards the end of our training, we overtook a scenario mission, only venturing to the moons of Neberos for two days, but we allowed feelings to pursued our actions. We were both so young and saw in each other a spark of magnetism. The words exchanged between us regarding our feelings later caused a note of uncertainty and we bade each other to forget the weekend. We graduated. Spencer and I both moved on and both married not to see or hear from one another for years,.. until now. Word had reached him of my condition, and Spencer was first to arrive to see me through the process.
We spoke of old times. At my worst moments there in the beginning of treatment he would cheer me up with juvenile stories of our past adventures in school. We laughed and roused about the Nebros Moons.It was here that we reaffirmed our friendship which was sealed properly amongst ourselves during the fifth week of my stay. I fear that I may go too far in my narrative with concerns of my own personal privacy, however, what may be known is that, although uncomfortable right now, I'm sure these feelings will find their rightful place among me. Spencer, meanwhile, has returned to his wife. He has asked for time, so that he may approach her when he feels she may be strong enough to bear it and explain his feelings concerning the situation. I look forward to his return, but for now,.. it’s back to business as usual. Back to dealing with those fu#^ing NIGS.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

somewhat on track

Ok. Things are beginning to run smoothly around here, but not from a lack off effort on my part, and with little to no help at all from the newly segregated group of tie-troopers. I have since installed monitoring/surveillance equipment along the newly-constructed wing of the G.H.E.T.T.O. to monitor behaviors and activities, which has, of course, come under fire from the association affirmed with Mohammed Boody claiming as though it is an effort to spy and control their daily activities… Well, IT IS! They were informed that until their behavior changes and they can prove that they can once again fit in with the rest of society… by that I mean the society of storm troopers… then I will continue to have monitoring posts established to maintain order and safety.

Boody went on trial for his crimes, and I chose to publicize the proceedings in order to make an example to others thinking of staging a “reform.” Booty’s lawyers ascertained that the system had failed men of Mohammed’s background and forced him into the position of terrorist to bring the issue of poverty to the forefront. It was, in fact, his social standing of racial-lower class seating, in Mohammed’s view, that drove him to act out on his inner rage and exploit the white troopers and other establishment for what they are doing to his people… WTF? I seem to remember being the one flipping the bill for the procession on newly- bred clones, not him. And, as a matter of fact, if this is what we have to expect from future breeds, I’m canceling the orders.

The PC police led by Pelosi and her group of followers have used Boody’s position as one to champion their own legislation, in attempts to strong arm the empire into giving in to their demands. This action on her part would break down the structure of our system that, on most accounts, operates rather smoothly as intended, with exception to the few “odd balls’ that continue to function solely on sheer stupidity and government support. This leaves more to focus on in the near future, for I believe that should pelosi’s group begin acquiring leverage then the balance of organization and structure will fall. If so, then these recent past events will dull in comparison to the destruction and anarchy to come.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Finally back

Whoa! It seems my shenanigans have stirred up a mess of controversy around here. I can’t put my finger on it, but it appears to have begun around the time of the NIG uprising. Unfortunately, I have been away on holiday for about ten days and have neglected my empirial documentations. As soon as time allows, probably tomorrow, I will resume reporting the going’s on in this establishment, which many have veered an acute interest to know where it will all lead… In do time.

As-alam-u-la-kem, or however it’s supposed to be uttered.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

million trooper march

It’s amazing to me, when I think about it, just as to how things can implode on you when you’re not giving attention due where it belongs. Point in fact, with the issuance of this new P.C. term of Storm Trooper for those who apparently believed the title of “Clone” to be both degrading and insulting, a small battle has been won in their eyes, and they have taken it upon themselves and run with it. Word is beginning to spread among the troopers, especially the Tie-class, that reparations can be obtained should a great fuss over inequality and racism towards their particular group be presented. This mode of thinking has led to an outbreak of accusations by these Tie-class employees that the system of empirial government has established, among other things, a slave-trade network… to even more outlandish verbal attacks about the government sabotaging water mains and standing back to watch their “people” drown.

A million Trooper march is now in full swing led by followers of Mohammed Booty Al-Sharif Mosul, who is currently awaiting trial, with the intent of spreading their message of hate towards those in power, the establishment, and other storm troopers. Their goal has been championed by several of those in assembly including, unsurprisingly, Pelosi, who claims to identify with the struggles of the Tie-trooper class. It has now become a pandemic during my absence and I fear I have arrived too late to quell such an uprising of this new order of idiocy and hatred generated by some of the most foolish, simple-minded, unintelligent, flea-picking, ebonic speaking, no job performing, government supported morons.

The march is scheduled for tomorrow. However, on a bright note, the greater majority of storm troopers are aghast at the actions of this newly-organized group of radical Tie-troopers and have claimed their loyalty to the empire, as they were bred to do. I can’t help to believe that this new breed of extremist,.. a Newly Indigenous Group spawned from within the Tie-class, or NIGs as they are commonly now referred to by everyone, are being controlled by an entirely separate entity. I can’t shake the feeling, but these people are just too freaking stupid to organize anything of this nature , and/or write and recite the quality of hate rhetoric presented in a written format before them, without some form of coaching… It is quite interesting, and I am beginning to formulate my own hypotheses about these rising events, and I am quite confident that I will be correct in my assumption.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

cut short

Surgeons were forced to remove my left testicle earlier in the week, due to sudden abnormalities that had surfaced since my last physical. Fortunately enough for me the second was unscathed, and I will still be able to procreate, should a need call upon itself. My feelings on the subject have been both miserable yet, otherwise, not overly concerned from the recent events. I retain quasi-mobility in my efforts to walk as of now, however the doctor stated that, in time, both my ability to walk and the full sensation of other mediums should return to whatever normalcy I possibly held before. I consider that to be reliable news and retain confidence in the fact that I should be completely operational in resuming my duties within the near week or so. Until then, I have been instructed to lament from mischievous activities for a while and maintain a heavy ice compact to adhere the mending process…